


Insert Cheesy Title Here

by ragewerthers



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Carolyn, Ridiculous pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-04 00:02:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4119385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragewerthers/pseuds/ragewerthers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a rather boring flight to Wisconsin, Douglas and Martin strive to find some sort of entertainment.  What is one to do when you're heading to the Dairy Capital of the United States?  Fight over the cheese tray of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insert Cheesy Title Here

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt given to me on Tumblr and I hope I do it justice!

MJN had been to some truly amazing places in their time. They had flown to Paris, traveled over the frozen tundra of Russia, seen the wonders of Japan and had skipped and tripped from continent to continent. Now they were on their way to the beautiful, the amazing, the one and only Denmark........ Wisconsin. At least that was the pitch that Carolyn had given them along with the same long pause. Denmark, Wisconsin? 'Who in the world would want a flight to such a place?', they had wondered. The answer was actually no one. However there were a few items that had been purchased from a factory in Switzerland that were now desperately wanted by a farmer in the states. Some bulk tanks, a few specially made milkers and a rather impressive looking mix of machinery that no one really had the time to wonder over unless you were in the cheese making industry.

So now here they were, making their trans-Atlantic journey to the dairy capital of the United States and what could be a better way to pass the time carrying cheese making machinery then to bet on the cheese tray? Obviously the answer is nothing and so that is where the pilots now were.... gearing themselves up for the cheesiest battle GERT-I had ever seen.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

"You realize, of course, that once you accept my offer there is no chance of turning back? None... nada.... zip.... zilch.... zero...," Douglas drawled on, listing various words off on his fingers to imply the same thing. That Martin was most assuredly in trouble if he accepted. This was merely the FO's friendly way of warning his partner against it.

"Yes I get it, Douglas!" Martin growled out, his eyes narrowed toward his First Officer and far too smug boyfriend. "I'm not sure how I can make it any clearer to you. I accept it with a sound mind and body and am ready to face any and all repercussions even when I _know_ there is no way it's going to come to that."

Douglas tried desperately not to snort or show any sort of amusement at how seriously his Captain was now taking this challenge. "The cheese tray has long held sway over the both of us, my heart. Are you really ready to bet it all in a game of my choosing?" he asked.

"You have no idea how ready I am," Martin said with his own take on a smug smile which had truly improved with his time near Douglas. It had once looked like he was suffering a migraine or fighting back a sneeze... now.... now it looked like he was fighting back a rather less awful sneeze with a bit of smugness mixed in.

This time Douglas really couldn't help himself and chuckled softly. "Fine. Then be prepared to sit by the wayside and watch as I win yet another game and get to enjoy uninterrupted alone time with the cheese tray," he said with his own impressive smug smile, one that had been learned and perfectly crafted for such occasions.

Martin scoffed and turned back to the steering column, adjusting a few dials before turning back to Douglas with determination that he usually reserved for proving that he was indeed the Captain of this vessel. "Go on then. Choose whatever game you may. We have a good few hours, but I must warn you... I think I'm really, really ready for anything you have to throw at me! Go ahead! What's the game? Is it 'Breeds of cows that sound like cars'? Or... or could it be 'Music lyrics replaced with the word 'Milk''? Because I have been practicing and I have some already made up. So... so, Ha! I'm ahead of you this time, Mr. Smug and Mighty!" Martin was incredibly proud of himself. In the interim of planning the flight and handling the paperwork for the cargo he had been more then aware that at some point during the flight there was going to be a dairy based battle of some sort. How could Douglas refrain? They were going to a predominantly dairy based area so naturally the theme of the game would be dairy based, yes? He had thought and thought and had now locked away in his head a few choice answers for what he thought would be the main game choices his darling would pick. "What's the matter? Didn't think I'd prepare?"

Douglas looked at the man with a bit of astonishment, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his seat. "I must say that I'm incredibly impressed, Martin," he said with a little nod, causing the smaller pilot to beam a bit under the praise. "You've literally thought out the exact steps I would take in choosing the game. Going for the dairy angle, obviously. So yes.... I wasn't prepared for you to be prepared. However....," Douglas couldn't help himself as his smile started to grow, "... now that I know what games you've prepared for I shall endeavor to not choose them and choose a different option instead."

The ginger-haired pilot literally gaped at his First Officer. "That's not fair! I was ready!" he squeaked out indignantly.

"Mmm... yes. You see, the fatal flaw in your plan was _telling_ me that you were ready. You sort of sabotaged the element of surprise there, sweetheart. Though I mean it when I say that I was impressed," Douglas said lightly though all it did was make Martins ears go pink.

"Go on then. Name the game," Martin grumbled, still not ready to completely forfeit. He had now been playing these silly games with Douglas for a few years. Surely if he was ready to premeditate the style of game then he could win it. Right?

"Right. Well.... the name of the game is 'Movie titles with words replaced with types of cheeses'," Douglas said with a nod, smiling lightly over at his Captain. "Does, _Sir_ want me to go first?"

As soon as he heard the game, Martin thought that he could come up with at least a few gems to win the cheese tray all to himself! "Yes. I think I'll let you start so that you don't get scared at my own clever answers," he said with as much confidence as he could muster.

"As you wish. Here's one right off the top of my head. _'Gouda Morning, Vietnam'_ ," he said after a moment of thought, looking over at Martin. "Your turn."

Martin scowled deeply when he heard that. Of course Douglas would come up with something like that! "Um..... um.... _'Swiss Family Robinson'_?" he tried, glancing over toward the man who only raised an eyebrow in return.

"That's already the title, Martin. However.... I shall give you half points simply because we're still getting into the swing of things," he said with a gracious little nod before tilting his head back in thought. " _'Catch Me If You, Camembert'_."

"Really?! You can't just be coming up with these on the fly! You had to have thought these out before our game!," Martin accused.

"Oh? You mean like a certain Captain who was ready to unleash his wealth of knowledge about cow breeds that sound like cars?" Douglas asked in return, his expression a mix of fondness and amusement.

Martin ducked his head a little and cleared his throat. "Fair point," he mumbled before biting his lower lip in thought. It took him a few minutes before he came up with one that had him sitting upright with a thrill at such an answer. " _'Mozzerella'_!"

This time Douglas just stared at the man. "Mozzarella?" he asked after a long pause, watching as Martin seemed to be glowing in what the Captain thought was utter genius.

Martin was looking back at his partner with a look that said 'you really don't see the brilliance here do you?' before rolling his eyes and nodding. "Yes! _'Mozzarella'_!" he urged. "It's... it's like _'Cinderella'_ only... only not, obviously." He paused to allow Douglas the time to truly appreciate what he'd done.

"Remember those half points I gave you earlier? I'm taking them back and replacing them with one fourth points," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm also allowing you a do over because your answer made me sad. Go on. Try again."

Martin glared at the man. "You aren't allowed to halve my half points! And I don't need you to take pity on me," he grumbled before he thought of something else that would ensure at least some full point. "Wait, wait, wait! _'The Muensters'_!"

Douglas could only sit and stare at the man for a moment before responding. "I'll give you points for effort and lack of originality.... but then I take them all away because that's the title of a show not a movie."

"Oh come on!" Martin whined, leaning his head back against the head rest and groaning sullenly. "Those were both wonderful and you know it! What other titles could you still possibly pull off?!"

"How about this one? Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in.... _'Queso Blanco'_?" he said with the smuggiest smile that had ever dawned over anyone's face in the history of smug smiles.

Martin knew that there was no way to claw his way to victory with his measly little quarter point and bowed his head in defeat. "Fine. Fine. Just... take the damn cheese tray. You win. You are the king of cheesy titles," he mumbled almost forlornly.

As he heard Martins somber little admittance of defeat he couldn't help himself and leaned over, pressing a small kiss to his partners cheek. "You will always be the king of cheesy titles to me.... _Sir_ ," Douglas murmured gently, watching as Martins ears turned pink under the half teasing, half gentle comment.

"Does that mean that I still get to enjoy the cheese tray?"

"If memory serves, Sir knew that there was absolutely no turning back once he agreed to this game. None... nada.... zip... zilch... zero...,"


End file.
